former undying love.

my ex sent a text to my mother this morning. i always call them formers, i hate that term - 'ex.' who made that shit up? i digress. so, she tells me he sent it at 6:41 this morning. he just wanted to let her know that he thought about her and her daughter. he wanted to know that we were alright. they spoke about his second child being on the way. he told her, to tell me, that his next child would be with me. just a period. no lol. why does he still love me? i left him, and didn't think twice about going back. his faults were the reasons that i left. he knows that. it amazes me that he still feels so strongly about me. i see it when i see him. i see it in the way that he avoids me. it hurts him to see me. i hope he doesn't cry. i always knew it was an awful thing, to be in love alone. now is showing me what it feels like, i guess.

am i a bad person for finding comfort in the fact that he still loves me so much? it makes me want to hug him. but i won't. it'll make him think we could work. and we can't. i'll pray for him until i die.