epiphany.

buenos dias.

soooo, as i made my way home last night i realized something. nothing that has failed to cross my mind previously, but i think it really set in last night. i cant do this anymore. call me a dreamer, but my aspirations are much bigger than this place. and by this place i mean this building, this job, this city. i have to make a move. after work today i am going to physically write out a plan. inshaAllah. once i make up my mind to do something, i am pretty persistent about getting it done. this should be no different. i just need to put myself in a position where what i am doing on a day to day basis reminds me that im working toward something. ive never NOT had that. until now of course. alot of the people around me have become complacent. thats scary when we have so far to go. funny, i sound like ive been here my whole life, and its only been about 10 months. could you IMAGINE what i could do with that amount of time though?? the places i could see, hear, feel?? amazing. i look at time as a gift. a gift you cant replace or return. each minute that passes is gone forever. i hate the idea of wanting my minutes to pass more quickly so i can get off work, only to return the following day and feel the SAME WAY. i love my time, life, learning. and its time to move on. again, lol.

ttyl & smooch.

quickie numero uno

hola,

i know i JUST blogged, but this is the first of many "quickies" i will post of random thoughts. i saw a status on fb earlier this week about phonecalls. someone told all of her friends not to text her. she said if you text me i will ignore you. call me, i only want to hear voices. even though im a major text maker, i LOVED that. i feel like we lose touch. with text messages you just kinda have to guess the tone. you may have a feeling something is true, but youre not sure because they can take away from that whole personal touch that speaking to one another brings.

the reason im blogging about it is because lately, i have not answered my phone. i just cant stand to be on the phone longer than 4 minutes. only with my mother because she will have a baby cow if we dont talk on the phone all day. plus i need my daily dose of mommy. but this is an issue. idk if its because i dont wanna hold the phone, or if the people i talk to just dont say anything i am really interested in hearing. then again i KNOW its not because i dont wanna hold the phone, because i can text all day. but sometimes i dont even wanna do that! i need to meditate, because i love my ppl. i dont want to lose touch at all. and i wont. give me a few days. i will fix it.

PICK U P THE PHONE!!! that was for you and i both, lol.

peace

honest discovery.

Heyyy Blog,

First of all, happy 2010. We have recently stumbled upon a new year, and i have a good feeling about this one. Yes, i said stumbled upon, because it made an entrance so quickly. I would say it showed up unexpectedly, but that would just be silly. EVERYONE knows after the last day of December, @ 11:59pm, its a new year. But if there was a way for a new year to sneak up on me, this one would've been exemplary. 2009 wasnt exactly a piece of cake for others and myself. Definitely a tester. But patiently, i endured. At least for most of it. I hope. Lol.

I was recently approached by a very insightful old man. He started off a sentence by telling me that i wasnt patient. Before he could finish, i cut him off like "NUH UH, THATS NOT TRUE! Everybody tells me im patient" (a clear demonstration of my ever flowing fountain of patience, lol). He then said to me "you are NOT patient, you just pretend to be". I really thought about what he said, without cutting him off this time, and discovered something amazing. He was RIGHT. Old people are like baby geniuses or something, i'm convinced. It was so simple, but prior to that moment it had never crossed my mind. That explained why when im sitting in the doctors office for 24 hours of my life KNOWING i made an appointment JUST so i wouldnt have to sit there, or waiting for a bus that shouldve been here 30 minutes ago, or waiting for a ride when i know i couldve gotten there myself an hour ago, or waiting for an inefficient administrative assistant to do something super simple and she is taking FOR-FRIKIN-EVER, waiting in line, waiting on a phone call, a much anticipated text message, it drives me nuts. I feel like my face is turning red and im about to scream. My mind is on the verge of exploding like a volatile mix of baking soda and vinegar out of the precipice of some 3rd graders plaster volcano at the science fair. All because i have to wait. I HATE WAITING! THAT SHIT BLOWS!!! There, i said it. Kinda liberating, lol. But i do wait. Quietly, without causing a scene, without being disruptive. You know why? Because its the right thing to do. SO, people think im patient. And for about 21 years, i thought i was too. Learn something new everyday, lol...

peace & love