lone star

bright. occasionally. other times-a flame that flickers. i wonder if its the things i have done coming back to me. i wonder if i deserve it. my heart is full. contains so much. it gives without my permission. loves without consulting me first. hurts when it is ignored, pouts when it isn't appreciated, suffers when its work isn't recognized. my spirit can handle it. my mind expects it. but my heart always suffers. it is a hopeful pump. awaiting its counterpart. continuously disappointed, it suffers. i try to tell it to become a bit more stolid, expectant. to extract the wisdom offered by past experiences. it chooses to remain hopeful, patient-but still restless.

i love my heart. naive, genuine, open, closed, full. and NOBODY is going to change that.

joy to the world.