i just had a moment.

i thought about my first time. i almost had a panic attack. i cried. i wasn't ready for that, for any of it. nothing good came of it. he didn't deserve me. he didn't deserve that. i never thought of it much until now. i never cried until now. i never feared for a girl losing her innocence prematurely as much as i do now. i never feared for a girl being inflicted with so much unnecessary pain until now. i never feared for her mistreatment as much as i do now. oh Allah, please protect my babies. ameen.