no words.

so, i am having a really hard time dealing with something. maybe i am being dramatic, but in my mind it's totally worth the energy being exerted through my over thinking. call me crazy, but i feel love. not the scary kind. not the run and hide kind. not the i shouldn't feel this but i will anyway kind. its the kind i want to feel. clean. i feel like we are both smart enough to understand whats happening here. i'm sad because i feel like it can be worked out. i feel like he doesn't share my optimism. i feel like i miss him already. i feel like i don't want this to be it. too much is right for it to go wrong. for it to be wrong. i can't sleep because i feel what he feels. already. i bet he's sleeping. i bet he isn't. then there is the bigger issue. though i have yet to attain my crystal clear clarity, i already feel like our individual beliefs will remain in opposition. you can never know too much. don't be afraid to hear what you don't want to hear. you cannot possibly be sure when you're unsure. the definition of innovation IS multi-faceted. bismillah. tears. strength. i wonder if i'm the only one who cares so much. no. *sighs* . i'm out.