permanent marker.

he came here when i didn't want him. he stayed, even when i tried to wash him away. he stained my skin like permanent marker. scribbled sloppily over precious pages of my life. i've scarred and turned red from trying to rub him off.

he pushed his way into my thoughts and into my love. he slithered up my stairs and into my room. he lied his way into my chest. what a mirage of a man.

he loved me before i liked him. he loved me. he loved me. he stayed here. he showed up. he wouldn't go when i asked him to. he wouldn't be quiet when i needed the silence necessary for tuning him out. so i loved him back. because he loved me. because i thought he wanted to.

i loved him. i loved him. i loved him until he sat on the surface of and underneath my skin and thoughts. until we shared morning breath and small habits i am still fighting to forget. i bite at them with chipped teeth. i sing to stop myself from crying when i think of the pain. i cry because it doesn't work.

i swear, i don't love him. i swear, i don't miss him. i swear - i only miss the pieces of me that i left for him and he left sitting there. i could tell that abandonment wasn't a new sport, for him. i could tell he was accustomed to sweeping broken promises underneath area rugs and referring to the tears of torn lovers as raindrops. i knew. but i didn't. i should have been more careful.

i was never afraid, until i stopped loving him.

i was really happy before i loved him.

i'm still happy, but there's this crack in it.

i lost something back there.

i'll fill it's space with something even better.