3:10

for the past 2 days, i have been having these sporadic twinges of nervousness shoot through me. i feel like i've always been sure i would be successful at whatever i chose to do. i always knew i was capable of it. it takes a lot to admit that i've been doubting that during these twinges. asking myself what would happen if it all went wrong. i've arrived to a point in my life where i feel as if i don't have a safety net. i feel like if i fall, everything'll break. i feel like i can't fall. i also know that i'm human, and that it is a possibility. but some part of me is ruling failure out. it can't happen. i have to keep my eyes and mind open. i have to evolve. i have to move forward and press on. i can't wait, there is no time for that. as doors open up, i pray and walk through them. bismillah.

bothered. i can't be one of those women who live for marriage. they want marriage so badly, they settle for loveless ones. never. i live for love. might as well be dead inside if all you settle for are loveless relationships.

i pray that Allah blesses me to focus, stay focused, and to remember Him with and before everything i do. this stress and anxiety will turn to a story i tell my children one day. my babies. i'm coming.